Rebuilding Us: Marriage Podcast

7 Lessons Your Marriage is Teaching Your Kids (Marriage & Family Series)  As parents, your marriage speaks loudly to your children, whether good or bad - healthy or struggling. Your kids are watching everything. And let me tell you, kids are very perceptive. Kids understand way more than we give them credit for. In today’s podcast, we are discussing seven lessons your marriage is teaching your children: from conflict resolution to grace and forgiveness, appreciation, inner vows, boundaries, gender roles, healthy sexuality, and more, your marriage is sending some powerful lessons.  Be sure to listen to the full episode and learn how to create a marriage your children will want to emulate.    Wondering how connected a partner you are in your relationship or marriage? Take the free Partner Quiz today! https://danache.com/partnerquiz  For wives looking for support, encouragement, and growth, join Thrive Wives, our bi-weekly group coaching program. https://thrivewives.com.  We’d love for you to rate, review, and SUBSCRIBE to the podcast! Your support enables us to continue delivering valuable relationship and marriage advice and content to people worldwide! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Welcome to Faith Fridays on Real Relationship Talk. We're bringing you an additional podcast episode each Friday on the topic of real faith. These short episodes will help you learn more about God and grow in your faith, seeing his work in your relationships.  Today’s faith focus is becoming a peacemaker, and our scripture comes from Matthew 5:9.“God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God (New Living Translation).    Take the “How Connected a Partner Are You” Quiz today at https://danache.com/partnerquiz.   To stay updated with show notes, helpful articles, and more relationship tips, visit https://realrelationshiptalk.com.    We’d love for you to rate, review, and SUBSCRIBE to the podcast as your support enables us to continue delivering valuable relationship content to people around the world!Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

What If I Married the Wrong Person? One of our listeners wrote in with a question: What if I married the wrong person? He went on to share that he felt bored, dissatisfied, and miserable in his marriage and wanted some advice on what he should do. He also confessed to being tempted by attention from other women, which heightened the thought that his wife is just not right for him anymore.  In my typical candid but graceful way, I share my thoughts and advice to help not only him but anyone else who may wonder if they’ve married the wrong person to navigate this difficult situation. I can’t stress enough the importance of evaluating whether a person is the right fit for marriage before making a commitment. Regrettably, many people bypass these steps before walking down the aisle and end up feeling stuck in their marriages. This episode also discusses steps to reconnect when you feel disconnected, the responsibility of love, and how to stop being bored in your marriage.  Get ready, it’s getting real REAL today!    Take the “How Connected a Partner Are You” Quiz today at https://danache.com/partnerquiz.   To stay updated with show notes, helpful articles, and more relationship tips, visit https://realrelationshiptalk.com.    We’d love for you to rate, review, and SUBSCRIBE to the podcast as your support enables us to continue delivering valuable relationship content to people around the world!Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Forgiving What You Can’t Forget Pt. 2   We’re discussing part two of forgiving what you can’t forget and continuing to talk about the fourfold path to forgiveness. These references come from Desmond and Mpho Tutu's book The Book on Forgiving. It's an incredible book; so well written. When I read this book, it was like a really kind, sweet, older gentleman, uncle, grandpa, that kind of person, who was just, loves you through his words. That's the best way that I can describe it. It's such a compassionate, gentle book, but with powerful truths.    Step 2 - Name the Hurt The next step in the fourfold path to forgiveness is naming the hurt. It's one thing for you to tell the story. For example, this thing happened to me,  my husband was unfaithful, my wife depleted our bank account, whatever the situation is. But it's another thing for you to then name the hurt for you to actually get real about what was lost. What did you lose when that thing happened? Get real specific about that. I’ve had quite a few things happen in my life that have caused me grief, and I've just kind of moved on. Now, that's not to say that I haven't grieved at all, but if I'm honest, I probably skipped some steps because I don't like to feel sad. I don't like feeling sorrow. I don't like to think about loss. So to really be honest and real with myself about the fact that I really lost something there takes a lot of work. It takes a lot of honesty.    It takes a lot of vulnerability to just sit with that and to realize that some of the things that you lost, you can never get back. If you were, God forbid, sexually assaulted as a child, you lost your innocence, and you won't be able to get that back. Now, that does not mean that you're damaged goods. It doesn't mean that your life is over and you're somehow always going to be walking around with a scarlet A on your forehead. Absolutely not. But it does mean that you have to acknowledge that something was lost. So a part of naming the hurt is super important because it allows you to stop pretending or minimizing what happened. It's one thing to, again, be general, I was hurt, I was betrayed, I was let down. It's another thing to say, this is the hurt. I lost my confidence, I lost my security, I lost the closeness that I felt with that person. I lost my safety, I lost my savings. Whatever it might be, whatever was lost. It's important that you're able to name that and not just the tangible things, but the Nontangibles. That's super important that we're able to do that. Be specific about what it is that you lost.    Good Grief There's another book, and I'll link to this in the show notes of this podcast. It's called Good Grief by Granger Westburg. I read this book back in 2008 after my best friend passed away from breast cancer, and I've talked about this before on the show. I've told you just now that I'm not the greatest at dealing with grief. So I had to start seeing a grief counselor because I could not move on. Now, obviously, you're dealing with a very significant loss, like people expect you to grieve for a while, right? But this was different. It wasn't like I was in denial. I knew that she had died, but it really affected me in ways that I did not know what to do with. And so I started seeing a grief counselor. And that was one of the best decisions that I ever did because I think had I not started seeing that grief counselor, I probably would have just masked it under some religious jargon, like, “Oh, she's in glory, bless the Lord.” That's not what we need to do when we are going through loss and pain. We don't need to mask it in some religious ideology.    ALSO LISTEN TO EP. 47: GRIEVING WITH HOPE    Step 3 - Granting Forgiveness Step three is granting forgiveness. Now, I say this a lot, and I'm going to say it again, that forgiveness is both a choice and a process. You are not always going to feel like forgiving. And forgiveness is not just something as easy as just like, I forgive you. Okay, let's move on. It starts off as a choice, but then you have to work it out as a process. These four steps that I'm giving you today is the process, or a process. So when I tell you that you need to grant forgiveness, it is a choice. You have to get to a point where you realize that when you withhold forgiveness from someone, you're truly only hurting yourself in the long run.    Scientific studies have shown what unforgiveness does to the human body. Our bodies were not meant to hold on to unforgiveness. Your body was not meant to hold on to unforgiveness. You were not created to hold that much pain, to absorb that much trauma unhealed. So when yo

Forgiving What You Can’t Forget - Pt. 1   Today we are going to go a little deep. We're going to do a little bit of excavation into your heart, perhaps to pull out some old memories that you would prefer to stay tucked away. We are going to go after the cover-up that you have put over some of those wounds, and we're going to make sure that what you have forgiven is really, indeed healed. For some, you’re listening to this episode today on forgiveness, because you haven't been able to forgive. You haven't been able to move on, and you need somebody to help you out. After this and next week’s episode, you will have a blueprint on how to get over what was done to you, how to forgive, and move on.  The title of this episode is forgiving what you can't forget. And I know that we have so much to talk about, so I've actually split this episode up into two separate episodes. So we're going to talk about part one today and then next week join us because we are going to finish up with part two.   Everybody Needs to Learn How to Forgive If there is one thing that I know for sure as a marriage coach, as a pastor, as a woman, and as a human being, it is that we all are going to have to walk through forgiveness at some point or another. You could have the most perfect marriage, the most healthy relationship, the best friendship, you name it, but at some point because you are in a relationship with another human being, you're going to be hurt and you are going to hurt.  We need to understand that forgiveness isn't something that just really resilient strong people do. It isn't something that only struggling relationships have to go through. We all have to learn how to forgive. And the more that you do it, the easier it gets. So as I look back over my life, I can think of many people whom I've really had to forgive, really struggled to forgive. And here's the truth. The closer the person is to you, the harder it is to forgive. Because the people that are closest to us have the most ability or the greatest ability to hurt us the deepest. If I'm just upset with my coworker because they ate my lunch that I put in the refrigerator, well, I mean, I have to forgive that. But it's not like the end of the world versus if I have to forgive my husband who betrayed my trust. So regardless of who came to your mind, regardless of whom you're thinking about, what I'm going to share with you over these next two episodes is going to be completely applicable.    The Inspiration Behind Forgiving What You Can’t Forget This episode is not intended to be a therapeutic session. It is not intended to be a full-out coaching session, even though coaching obviously will help you. And I do work with all of my clients on this process of forgiveness. Lysa TerKeurst, President of Proverbs 31 Women wrote a book called Forgiving What You Can't Forget. If you know anything about her story, Lysa was married for nearly 30 years to a man who was a habitual cheater. And her lifestyle is very public, especially for those in the Christian community. Many Christian women know who Lysa TerKeurst is as she has a very prominent ministry. She has lived this whole debacle out in the public eye. I have nothing but respect for her. I did a YouTube video on this very topic of her story on forgiveness about how I applauded her, really, for leaving this very toxic marriage.  You all know me. I am for marriage. I am pro-marriage. I don't take divorce lightly at all. But in her situation, she was married to a man who she had given grace upon grace upon grace upon grace, chance after chance after chance after chance. They publicly renewed their wedding vows, and this man committed to being faithful and loyal and he wasn't. So she finally made the decision that she was going to need to walk away. And I know that that took a lot of courage. I'm sure that there are people who probably disagreed with her decision, and I'm sure that it was really like a battle within herself to even get to that point. But through her pain, she wrote this book called Forgiving What You Can't Forget, and that is really what inspired, obviously, the title of this podcast.    Recommended Books on Forgiveness Another book I'm going to recommend to you is called The Book on Forgiving by Desmond Tutu and his daughter Mpho Tutu. Obviously, those are African names. This is such a good book. I originally got this book, I don't know, maybe three years ago. I think it was like right at the start of COVID. This book is really about a lot of what Desmond experienced coming out of apartheid and how he learned how to forgive. But it's not just the apartheid story, because most of

Ep. 148- 7 Reminders for Women in Struggling Marriages   As I prayed through this episode, I asked the Lord, “What do you want your ladies . . . the women in struggling marriages to know?” If you imagine God the Father is so good as he is, whether you know Him or not, whether you believe in Him or not, he's still good and he still loves you, whether you acknowledge his presence or not. I imagine God the Father saying, “Come to me.” He is calling us into his presence and saying, “I have some things that I want you to know. I know that your marriage is struggling right now. I know that you're sad a lot. I know that you feel hopeless a lot. I know that you think that you're never going to make it out of this. I know that you're comparing your marriage to other people's marriages and you're scrolling through Instagram and looking at all the beautiful, happy couples and wondering why your marriage can’t be that way. I know you're looking back at your wedding photos and wondering where everything went wrong. I know that you cry at night and you think that nobody else hears you, nobody else sees you. Friend, I want you to know that there is a God in heaven who sees you and that no tear that you have ever cried is wasted. And maybe you don't even know how to pray. Maybe you've given up on prayer. Maybe you don't think prayer works. I'm going to encourage you today that God still sees you. And he sent me today to give you some reminders that while your marriage is struggling, you are not.  7 Things to Remember About Your Struggling Marriage   1. You are not alone.  If I had somebody to tell me this when I was in the throes of all of my marriage dysfunction, that would have meant the world to me because I felt alone. I felt like I was the only person that was going through this. I felt like I was the only person who had a crappy marriage. I felt like everybody else “got it,” and somehow we didn't. And I felt alone in my own home. There’s no worse feeling than when you're married and feeling alone, feeling like the very person that you committed your life to is unreliable. The very man that you pledged your everything to, you can't stand on him, you can't support. He doesn't support you. He's not who you imagined that he would be. And that can be really hurtful. I want to tell you that you're not alone. What do I mean by that? I mean that there are many women who are in your shoes. And unfortunately, because of this whole shame thing, which we're going to talk about in just a second, we often don't share our stories with one another. A lot of times we go through marriage problems and life even alone, because we're afraid to reach out, because we don't want to be judged we don't want people to look down on us. We feel like we should be farther ahead than we are. And so because we're not reaching out and because other people are not reaching out to us, we believe that we're alone. But I want to tell you that you are not alone.    2. You have nothing to be ashamed of.  When you are hurt by your husband for some reason, it's like you take on that shame. If you've ever been cheated on, you've ever gone through infidelity, you know exactly what I'm talking about. You will take on the shame of what your husband did to you. If your husband is verbally or emotionally abusive to you, you will take on that shame of his choices and you will feel like you did something wrong even though you didn't.  Now, I'm not saying that you're a perfect wife and you don't have your things to own, but what I am saying is that you have nothing to be ashamed of that is not yours. If you are not the one causing the marital distress, you do not need to be ashamed of the marital distress. We are way too often embarrassed by our husband's choices, and you don't need to feel like that anymore. What he is doing is his doing. ALSO READ: How to Deal with Shame in Relationships    3. You are a better wife than you think you are.  We are so hard on ourselves, ladies. We are so idealistic. I think that sometimes gets us into trouble. It gets us into beating ourselves up because we feel like we should be doing more. We should love our kids more. We should love our husbands more. We should cook more, we should clean more, we should work more. We should be more successful. We should have more money. We should “bring more to the table.” We should always be doing more, more and more.  I have this little placard in my home office, and it says, You have enough. You do enough. You are enough. I look at that from time to time, because I can sometimes think, Dana, you could be doing more. You could be doing better. You co

What's Your Fighting Style?   Conflict is a normal and healthy aspect of any relationship. So we don't have to be afraid of it anymore. We don't have to run away from conflict. We don't have to pretend that it's not there. We don't have to try to dress it up as something else. It is what it is. However, conflict is not fighting.  When we “fight,” we all have a fighting style that’s our go-to approach to handling conflict. When I'm saying fighting for the sake of this episode, I'm not talking about “throwing blows.” I'm talking about how you deal with conflict. When something arises in your relationship and you disagree with your partner, you're having conflict, that conflict then turns into more of just a disagreement, but you're almost at a stalemate. How do you handle that? What is your fighting style? Three Fighting Styles The three specific styles are as follows: attack-attack, attack-defend, and silent-silent. In the attack-attack style, both partners are on the attack and cannot hear each other, making it impossible to solve problems and leading to a destructive cycle. In the attack-defend style, one partner is attacking and the other is defending themselves, creating a tit-for-tat dynamic that is not productive in resolving the underlying issues. In the silent-silent style, both partners avoid confrontation altogether and allow issues to fester and grow.   Why Does Love Feel Like a Battlefield? You are never going to find the solution to whatever the situation is because if you’re spending so much time attacking one another. It's almost like you are in a battlefield. You've now become an enemy, a combatant of your partner. Years ago, singer Jordin Sparks actually wrote a song called Battlefield. Here are some of the lyrics of this song . . . See if you can relate.  Why does love always feel like a battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield?  You know that song so this is how it goes. Okay.  Don't try to explain your mind I know what's happening here One minute it's love and suddenly it's like, love is a battlefield. One word turns into a war.  Why is it that the smallest things tear us down?  My world's nothing when you're gone.  I'm out here without a shield.  Can't go back now.    I never meant to start a war.  You know I never want to hurt you.  Don't even know what we're fighting for.  Why does love always feel like a battlefield? Listen to Battlefield here  Why does love always feel like a battlefield in your relationship? You feel like there is nothing that you do, nothing that you say is going to make a difference because your spouse is looking at you as the enemy. Or, you see your partner as the enemy.   Break Free From Fighting  To break out of these fighting styles, one person in the relationship must wave the white flag and prioritize the relationship over being right. Remember, your partner is not the problem; the problem is the problem. You are on the same team! By taking a step back and examining the real issue, couples can work together to find a solution. In order to move forward from fighting, couples must reframe the way they approach conflict. Instead of seeing it as a competition or an opportunity to prove who is right, couples should view it as a chance to grow and strengthen their relationship. If necessary, couples should take a “time-out” during particularly heated moments to allow both parties to cool down and come back to the conversation from a calmer and more rational place.   Links Mentioned in this Episode:  Episode 87: The Silent Treatment vs Arguing   Register for the upcoming Thrive Wives workshop   SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the sho

The Power of Conflict: How Disagreements Can Strengthen Your Relationship Can conflict actually help you connect? The whole reason that I wanted to do this episode is to help you to understand that conflict can be a great asset in your marriage. Conflict can actually be a great asset in any relationship if you understand how to use it. Conflict is like a tool. And if you learn how to use the tool correctly, then you're going to find that it's not such a scary thing when conflict shows up in your relationships. So we have a jam-packed episode today, you guys. I'm going to be sharing lots and lots of skills, tools, and resources with you.  But before we get into all of that, I want to ask you to do me a favor. Right after you finish listening to this episode, I would love for you to write a podcast review, especially if you are listening to this on Apple podcast or Spotify. Let me tell you why there are so many people who find out about this podcast by word of mouth. Shaun and I were in a restaurant, eating dinner with some friends. We were outside, and a couple walked past the table, and they were like, "I love your podcast. I love your podcast." And I was like, Oh, my gosh, I'm feeling famous. You know what I mean? And it was such a cool experience. But then, about ten minutes later, this other woman walks by our table, and she's like, "Oh, my gosh, I love your podcast. I listen to it every single week!" Why am I sharing this with you? Because both the couple and the woman who walked by heard about my podcast from a friend. So when you share this podcast, you have no idea the seeds that you are planting in your friends' lives. They might hear an episode that I did way back in 2020 or 2021 that will help to save their marriage. So by writing a simple review, you are helping this podcast to be found by people who really need it. So thank you so much for doing that.  Let's Talk About Conflict  So I like to talk about conflict, okay? I am not conflict-avoidant at all. Now, when I say that to people, it doesn't mean that I like to stir up trouble either. I don't like to create conflict. I'm just not afraid of it because I have learned that conflict is a tool in your marriage. But it's also a tool in any relationship. If you're a parent and you're dealing with conflict with your children, you can use that conflict to draw you closer to the relationship that you have to teach you more about your child, to teach you more about yourself. And of course, you can just sparse that out into any relationship that you're in. So I want to be able to give us some real practical takeaways today. As you listen to this episode, we're going to be talking about conflict as connection.  If you've listened to my show for a while, you know that I talk about connection a lot. I'm going to give you five quick reasons, and I might throw in a bonus as to how conflict is connection or how conflict shows up as connection in your relationships. So the first thing is that conflict gets you talking. When you start to have issues in your relationship or issues in your marriage, there's some sort of disagreement, right? It's going to keep you talking. Now, you might not always say the right things or say them in the right way, but at least you're talking. You're getting your feelings out. You're sharing your emotions. You're being authentic, you're being honest about how you truly feel and what that particular thing is bringing up in you.  Conflict Teaches You How to Speak Up So let's say, for example, you are having a disagreement with your spouse about parenting. My goodness, that happens to all of us in that connection. It might come up that you realize that when you were growing up, your parents were overly critical of you. Maybe you've never really thought about that before and how that shows up in your parenting, but you get into an argument with your spouse and you're like, you sound just like my dad. You sound just like my mom. My mom was always overbearing. My mom was always critical of me. And you didn't even realize that you were saying that until the words came out. Now, your spouse might not appreciate that you just said that about them, but if your spouse and you can take a step back and go, whoa, wait a minute. Okay, so this isn't really about my spouse. This is about my parents, and I'm being triggered by something that my spouse is doing. But, at the end of the day, I just had an epiphany. I just realized that I'm still dealing with some trauma or some struggles or some bad memories of how I grew up and how I felt like my parents treated me. And I'm kind of taking that out on my spouse. So when you're in conflict, it can help you to connect to your spouse because it gets you to talk. It gets you to say the things that you've been stuffing down inside. It gets you to say the things that you're thinking about, but

Truth’s Table: Race, Theology & Relationships - with Ekemini Uwan and Dr. Christina Edmonson  Today we are so blessed to have with two midwives of Culture for Grace and Truth, Ekemini Uwan and Dr. Christina Edmonson, of the highly acclaimed and award-winning Truth’s Table Podcast.  I have been listening to their podcast for a couple of years and when Hannah, our podcast editor, reached out to tell me we were going to have them on the show, I could hardly contain my excitement. Truths’ Table is a go-to podcast in the black, Christian community, and has even been featured on Grammy Award Winning Hip-Hop Artist, Lecrae’s album, All Things Work Together. Ekemini Uwan Ekemini and Christina share their much-needed perspectives on politics, race, culture, entertainment, and gender filtered through an accessible yet robust Christian theological framework. Ekemini is a public theologian and also a contributing writer for Hallmark Mahogany (which is my favorite brand of greeting cards by the way). Christianity Today named her among "10 New or Lesser-Known Female Theologians Worth Knowing. Ekemini has appeared on MSNBC, and her insights are quoted by NPR, CNN, The New York Times, The Washington Post, and The New Yorker among other publications. Ekemini is also single and shares her perspective on today’s show on living single. She writes a chapter in the book called Hidden in Plain Sight: A Single Black Woman’s Manifesto. Dr. Christina Edmonson Christina holds a PhD in Counseling Psychology, a Masters degree in Family Therapy, and a Bachelor’s degree in Sociology. She speaks and writes on leadership development, anti-racism, and mental health issues. Christina has been married for over two decades and shares some powerful truths about mutual submission and healthy marriage.  Truths’ Table podcast, featured on Grammy Award Winning Hip-Hop Artist, Lecrae’s album, All Things Work Together and their book called Truth’s Table: Black Women’s Musings on Life, Love, and Liberation has been nominated for the 54th NAACP Image Awards! Get excited!!  Let’s welcome the show Ekemini Oowan and Dr. Christina Edmonson.  Relationships are complex as it is, but adding race to the mix can make things even more challenging. The ladies offer insights that could help us all navigate these relationships more thoughtfully. Colorism and Light-Skinned Privilege One of the most important themes that emerged in the episode was a conversation about colorism in the black community and the importance of acknowledging privilege. Christina spoke candidly about how the lighter-skinned privilege she experiences can lead to resentment and confusion in relationships with other Black women. She also recognized how societal and historical factors have contributed to her privilege, saying "It's hard to recognize my privilege because it feels like denying the pain and experiences of other people.” Dr. Christina Edmondson emphasized that it's important to reflect on our own privileges and how they impact our relationships. For example, she spoke about how Scripture has historically been interpreted primarily by men, and how this can have implications for how women are perceived in relationships. Men often hold positions of power in society and the church, and their hermeneutic might be self-serving in order to gain validation they don't get elsewhere. This conversation around privilege intersects with the topic of colorism, or the bias against people with darker skin tones, which can be especially damaging in relationships between Black men and women. Society has conditioned us to see lighter skin as warmer and kinder, and darker skin as mean and cold. Ekemini spoke about her own experience with colorism, where people have made negative assumptions about her personality or intellect based on the tone of her skin. ALSO LISTEN TO:  Race Conversations 101: How to Have Civil, Compassionate, & Courageous Conversations About Race Submission in Marriage While the conversation around race and privilege can feel heavy, we also offered some practical insights that could help people to navigate relationships more effectively. Since this is a marriage podcast, we had to discuss the concept of submission in relationships. Christina spoke about the fear or discomfort some women may have around the idea of submission, but pointed out that mutual submission in a couple's relationship assumes equity, unlike a hierarchical relationship between a child and parent.  Submission in a couple's relationship requires both partners to lay down prefe

Confessions of a Crappy Christian - with Blake Guichet  Are you a Christian who struggles with some aspects of the faith? Do you have more questions than answers? Today, I’m talking with Blake Guichet, author and podcast host of Confessions of Crappy Christian, about her story of the deconstruction and reconstruction of her faith. We ask and answer some questions we had and still have about the Christian faith. We also discuss how we, as Christians, need to develop the art of better listening skills, especially when talking to someone about matters we disagree on.  I truly believe we are all capable of honoring others even when disagreeing on values and/or beliefs. There are some “non-negotiables” about the Christian faith that are sacred, like the authority of Jesus Christ and what his death and resurrection signifies. However, there are “minors” that some Christians “major” on that only perpetuate a divide within our own faith and the impending faith of others.  The Curious Christian Blake and I discuss how, as parents, it is very important to allow space for our children to be curious . . . to ask all the questions about the Christian faith we want them to embody. As children, we were both disappointed with a lot of the pat answers we received when we asked real questions about faith, gender roles and rules, and other topics.  That experience taught me to truly listen to my curious children and keep listening to my curious self. The curious Christian is a growing Christian. The day curiosity leaves and replaced with certainty is the day faith is no longer needed. It’s okay to not understand every aspect of the Christian faith. It’s okay to not have all the answers you’re seeking either. Faith is indeed, “the substance of things hoped for; the evidence of things not seen” (Hebrews 11:1).  Deconstruction of Destruction? “A lot of what I feel is happening today isn’t deconstruction but destruction,” Blake said, when I asked about her take on the topic of deconstruction in culture today. She goes on to say that people aren’t necessarily asking questions about faith in order to rebuild what needs to be rebuilt; they are just leveling the whole thing when they don’t understand something. When Blake went through her questioning and deconstructing phase (which is ongoing, by the way), her goal was to extract the inaccuracies she had been taught in order to replenish her faith with what is real and true and still holds. I can attest to this myself.  I am grateful that we serve a God who is not afraid or offended by our questions; who is not moved off his throne by our doubt. He is able to keep what we have committed to him (our hearts) through any and every season (2 Timothy 1:12).    Links Mentioned During This Episode How Connected a Partner Are You? Take the Free Quiz!  Learn more about Blake and Hear Her Podcast    SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.  Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.