Rebuilding Us: Marriage Podcast

The Lowdown on the Hookup Culture: Five #Facts (Shameless Sex Series)   Society seems obsessed with free sex. The hookup culture is alive and well, and it’s not just millennials or Gen-Zers engaging in sex on demand. In today’s episode, I’m giving you 5 reasons the hookup culture is no bueno and 5 practical steps to exit right out of it.   Many of us have been sold a lie that in order to embrace our sexuality, we need to be “sexually free,” or promiscuous, for lack of a better word. There are no rules, right? Do whatever pleases your fancy. The truth is the hookup culture has caused more pain, heartache, and loss than it’s worth. Whether or not you are a Christian, there are many reasons why the hookup culture isn’t a great idea. These reasons range from scientific reasons to spiritual reasons.   Here are a few (You’ll have to listen to the full episode to hear them all):   Risks of Premarital Sex The hookup culture is responsible for a higher divorce rate. The hookup culture is responsible for fake intimacy (This is really important. Please listen around the 13:12 mark.) The hookup culture hinders commitment. I go into much detail on these three and two additional “risks” of premarital or extramarital sex. But let’s not just talk risks . . . let’s talk about real, practical steps people can take when trying to turn their sexual lives around. Practical Steps to Exit the Hookup Culture Decide to become accountable to yourself. Real accountability is an inside job first. DO NOT rush into marriage. This might sound counterintuitive coming from a pastor and marriage coach. But trust me, marriage will not solve your self-control issues. Watch what you watch. This is another very important simple step in the right direction. To hear the additional two tips for exiting the hookup culture, be sure to listen to the full podcast.   Remember, we are invited to live in freedom, but sexual freedom is not what our culture teaches us it is. The apostle Paul writes in Galatians 5:13, For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love (NLT).   Other Helpful Resources: Web MD – Benefits in Delaying Sex Until Marriage Why Premarital Sex is a Bad Idea Need Relationship or Marriage Coaching?     SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.  Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Why Lysa TerKeurst Called Quits on Her Marriage Proverbs 31 Founder Lysa TerKeurst announced this week that she was divorcing her husband of nearly 30 years due to his repeated patterns of behavior that have violated their marriage (i.e. infidelity). This statement isn't new to Lysa; she made a very similar statement in 2017 when Art, her husband, was caught in adultery. However, the TerKeursts walked through a journey of repentance, forgiveness, and reconciliation, and renewed their vows in 2017. Sadly, it appears Art returned to his cycle of destruction and now their marriage is irretrievably broken.  There are some lessons we can learn from why Lysa's decision to end her marriage, which I share plainly in this episode, along with her official statement.  If your marriage is suffering from adultery, or if it ever has  . . . heck, if you don't want your marriage to experience infidelity, you need to listen to the full episode.  Learn more about how to protect your marriage by downloading my free e-book 5 Mistakes that are Wrecking Your Life at http://relationshipmistakes.co.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Best of 2021: Year in Review   Oh, what a year! There have been highs and lows, but we brought the best of the best with this top 10 countdown of our most popular episodes of the year. Counting down from the tenth most downloaded episode to the number one most downloaded show was a sweet trip for me down memory lane. I’m sure these shows are some of your faves as well. Be sure to listen to today’s episode for my commentary on the significance of each show.   Top 10 Relationship Podcast Episodes in 2021   10 – Episode 69: Oral Sex: Oh My! (Shameless Sex Series)   9 – Episode 55: How to Get Over an Argument Quickly (Young & Married Series)*   9 – Episode 25: Lies Women Believe about Sex – with Molly Moses (All About Sex Series)* *Episode 55 & Episode 25 tied for the #9 spot.   8 – Episode 48: Setting Realistic Expectations in Marriage – with Jenard Moore (Young & Married Series)   7 – Episode 27: Lopsided Libido: How to Deal with Different Sex Drives (All About Sex Series)   6 – Episode 24: Rethinking Intimacy – Redefining Sex – with Sheila Wray-Gregoire (All About Sex Series)   5 – Episode 41: When Life Falls Apart: Unearthing Treasure in the Unexpected – with Hallie Lord (Hope Series)   4- Episode 26: Making Love Outside the Bedroom – with Shaun Williams (All About Sex Series)   3 – Episode 36: How Guys Think: A Single Man Bares All – with Avery Martin (Single AF Series)   2 – Episode 40: Dealing with Disappointments (Hope Series)   1 – Episode 49: 5 Boundaries Every Marriage Needs (Young & Married Series)   I hope you enjoy listening (or re-listening) to these episodes! And tell me, what was your favorite episode or episodes from the podcast?   SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

A Very Sexy C-H-R-I-S-T-M-A-S (Shameless Sex Series)   Christmas is right around the corner, and we’re celebrating by sharing these sexy Christmas tactics to help you and your boo have the sexiest Christmas ever! These practices are also good for the other 364 days of the year, of course. However, in the hustle and bustle of buying gifts, decorations, hosting and attending Christmas parties, etc., it’s easy to lose sight of our most important relationship. I’m sharing nine ways for you to focus on your spouse this Christmas and re-energize your sex life.   Because I’ve always loved a good acronym, I’m giving you a gift of a beautifully illustrated acronym for the word Christmas. Each letter represents an important “must-have” sex tactic to help refresh and renew your sexual connection.   The following acronym will help you have a better sex life if it is:   C-ommitted H-oly R-espectful I-ntentional S-pontaneous T-imely M-eaningful A-dventurous S-exy   Now, you’ve got to listen to the full episode (it’s a short one today!) to hear all the goods. Maybe you could add to this list or even come up with your own acronym! I’d love to hear it.   Links Mentioned in this Episode Episode 9: 6 Ways to Build One Extraordinary Marriage with Less Talking Episode 70: Can Porn Improve Your Sex Life? With Sathiya Sam (Shameless Sex Series) Join the Real Relationship Talk / Christian Marriages & Relationships Facebook Community!     SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.        Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Can Porn Improve Your Sex Life? Do you watch porn or wonder if it can improve your sex life? Today, our guest, Sathiya Sam, shares some shocking revelations about porn and its effects in marriage and life in general. You may not know, but the average age of porn exposure is 11 years old. #LetThatSinkIn. Also, I share my own story of my introduction to porn and my not-so-great response years later when I found my kids had also discovered it. Here’s the truth. Porn can be a shameful vice. This podcast series is on shameless sex, so having this conversation is necessary for couples who are wondering if watching porn can actually enhance their sex lives. It’s a valid question for many, and Sathiya shares some valid stats with us on porn’s actual effects in our relationships. First, he shares his own personal journey with pornography, saying, “Porn was my reward and my relief at the end of the day.” It didn’t start as an addiction for this pastor’s kid who knew right from wrong, but rather, like most vices, was a gradual process. More than behavior modification, those who want to walk away from porn need something more. They need to be set free of the shame that feeds the cycle of porn, and they need to be able to have honest and SAFE conversations with people who are in their corner who can help. Here’s the thing . . . [SPOILER ALERT]: Porn may start off as a thrilling experience in your sex life, but it almost never lasts. It causes more devastation than it’s worth, and it robs you of the true intimacy you’re after. There is a better way to better intimacy, which I share here. Learn more about Sathiya and his new book The Last Relapse (out on 2/2/22) and download your free resource “The Ultimate Recovery Guide” using the links below.   Links Mentioned in this Episode Unleash the Man Within Podcast Sathiya’s Ultimate Recovery Guide     SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.      Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Oral Sex: Oh My! (Shameless Sex Series)   We're diving deep and talking about oral sex and all its wonders. Grab your spouse and listen in as we debunk some myths about oral sex. Plus, you’ll never look at one particular Bible hero the same! It’s all here as the inaugural episode in our shameless sex series, dedicated to helping you recover the beauty of being “naked and unashamed.”   Check out these interesting articles on my “bonus content” at the end of the show:   https://www.premierchristianity.com/home/bible-stories-uncensored-ruth-the-maneater/1011.article   https://ymi.today/2020/04/does-the-end-truly-justify-the-means/   And for the nitty-gritty techniques of marital sex, visit http://themarriagebed.com.   Finally, check out episode 23 and episode 25 (what the church forgot to teach us about sex and lies women believe about sex, respectively) to continue the conversation.   Let’s stay connected:   On Facebook: @therealrelationshiptalk   On Instagram: @danachewilliams   On YouTube: @danacheunlimited   Real Relationship Talk is a marriage and relationship podcast that helps couples build better relationships by having honest conversations about sex, marriage, commitment, and lasting love. Hosted by marriage coach Dana Che Williams, the podcast is challenging yet conversational and tackles real issues real couples are facing in an encouraging, often humorous, and authentic way. Dana Che and her hubby, Shaun, live in Virginia Beach, have been married for over 22 years, and have four children.   Need marriage or relationship coaching? Visit http://danache.com.   Be sure to subscribe to the podcast on whatever platform you're listening to!    Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Forget Compatibility! Great Relationships Require Intentionality - with Dr. Joli Hamilton - Part 2 Everyone wants to find someone they’re compatible with, but what if we’re looking at this the wrong way?  Dr. Joli Hamilton is our guest for part two of this conversation. Do opposites really attract? Is it true that we create our compatibility? And if so, how does intentionality play a role? The truth is, we are different. And when you decide that being different is not only okay but preferred, you’ll unlock another dimension in your relationship.   You can’t force your partner to be the same as you. Love is about flourishing and growing and being who you were meant to be. Sadly, Dr. Hamilton reminds us, that often the things you wish you could project on your partner or spouse are the things you wish you could own about your own life. That is a deep revelation! What have you been disowning about yourself that you need to reclaim? Own it. Don’t ask your partner to take on these things.   High Functioning Couples Joli and I also discussed the roles in high functioning couples. Often, power struggles occur because of a lack of intentionality in conversations and structure. “Some people think relationships should be really easy or really hard, and these two people are usually married to each other,” says Dr. Hamilton. That’s going on Instagram today!   Have a Vision for Your Marriage/Relationship The Bible says, “Where there is no vision, the people cast off restraint” (Proverbs 29:18). Having a vision (or purpose statement, as Joli calls it), is vital to a healthy relationship. Without knowing where you’re headed, you’re bound to run around in circles, get frustrated, and ultimately “cast off restraint.” Another way to say this is that you’ll lose the fight for your relationship. You might stay together, but you’ll be distant at best. So, create a purpose or vision statement today.   At the end of the day, when you’re ready to up-level your relationship, all it takes is deciding. “Love is a learnable skillset,” Joli says. Stop groping around in the dark and decide to create compatibility by intentionality.   Be sure to listen to the full episode by clicking the episode link.     Links Mentioned in this Episode Get real with The Curiosity Date Get Joli’s book: Project Relationship: The Entrepreneurs Action Plan for Passionate, Sustainable Love Join the Real Relationship Talk / Christian Marriages & Relationships Facebook Community!       SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.      Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Growing Together While Staying True to You – with Dr. Joli Hamilton   Growing together in relationships is critical to its success. Today, we are joined by psychologist Dr. Joli Hamilton who shares the importance of unmasking (being the real you) while also striving to grow together in your relationship. Joli and I do not share the same beliefs when it comes to certain major aspects of relationships, yet I hope you can see this conversation as a model on how to find common ground on the things you do agree on while still remaining open to learn new methods of relating to others. It’s good stuff!   I started the interview by asking Joli, “Do you believe there’s a special person out here for someone?” Her answer will make you pause and think.   We also discussed why growth is an important concept for us to understand in relationships. We are meant to help one another grow together. Relationships tend to bring out our real selves, but sadly, instead of owning our part, many of us we blame our partner, when all they’re doing is holding a mirror up to what’s really going on inside of us. #thatpart   Some other nuggets from Joli: ‘Be more interested in each other’s growth than your own comfort.”   “Love is about knowing someone completely and being fully known.”   “Some couples practice not feeling their life.” (Whoo lord! That was deep!)   And then Joli talked about a concept called “Individuation.” I just like the sound of the word, but the concept is also an important one.   This episode was full of so much gold that I split it into part one and part two. I hope you’ll enjoy it as much as I did.       SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.    Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Until Death Do Us Part (Marriage Vows Series)   If I had to vote on the most important phrase of the marriage vows, it’d be “until death do us part.” In today’s episode, we are discussing the final phrase of the traditional marriage vows, capping off our 10-part series where we have dissected the wedding vows phrase by phrase. Marriage is sacred, yes. And it is meant to last forever. That word forever means f-o-r-e-v-e-r. It is not temporary. It is not until your “love” wears out. Marriage is a lifetime business.   Today, we’re discussing the meaning and weight behind these powerful five words. The words that literally mean life or death. In our throwaway culture, forever can seem like a suggestion. But to God, it was anything but. Take a listen to the full episode and be challenged to shore up your conviction on what forever is all about.   Links Mentioned in this Episode Join the Real Relationship Talk / Christian Marriages & Relationships Facebook Community!  Want Dana to Coach Your Marriage?     SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.      Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Forsaking All Others (Marriage Vows Series) – with Shaun Williams   Part of the wedding vows that can get a little sticky is the whole “forsaking all others” part. What does that mean? Can married people really not have friends? That’s not how I read it. I do, however, believe that once you’re married, all other people have to take a backseat to the marriage bond (oneness) you are trying to create. If there’s a friend (platonic or not) that is threatening your union, they’ve gotta go. Kids? Give ‘em the ax! Well, maybe not technically, but if you have kids, you know they will try to come in between your marriage. Don’t let them. Co-workers, best friends, parents, etc., all these relationships have to be re-evaluated. Now, while I don’t believe in isolating yourself as a married couple, I do believe in using wisdom and communication to know how best to “re-categorize” some folks in your life once you get married. Real and Raw Today’s episode was real and raw, and if I think about it long enough, a tad embarrassing, because Shaun and I had a little argument on the podcast. Yep, I kept it in there, so don’t judge us. This information will be used for training purposes. Anyway, I’d love to hear your take on what does it mean to “forsake all others” in your marriage? How have you done this well, and how have you messed up? If we can be real, so can you. This is a worthy conversation that many married couples are simply not having. Yet, they should. Communicate your needs, desires, and even fears about your spouse’s relationships with others outside your marriage. I want to make something clear: you should retain autonomy of yourself in whatever relationship you’re in. This isn’t some weird, cultish “lose yourself” teaching. You are a unique individual and will always be, but remember the purpose of marriage is oneness.   Okay, that’s all the teasers I’m going to give you. You have to listen to the full episode to get the rest of the goods.   Links Mentioned in this Episode Join the Real Relationship Talk / Christian Marriages & Relationships Facebook Community! Want Dana to Coach Your Marriage?     SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.    Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.