Rebuilding Us: Marriage Podcast

Are you struggling with the fear of rejection, fear of intimacy, fear of failure, or a fear of commitment in your relationship? Do you sometimes wonder why you can’t connect deeply with the person you love? In today’s episode, my husband, Shaun, and I tackle these 4 major fears and help married couples and singles decode the reason many people self-sabotage their own relationships. Love can be scary. It’s risky, and there are no guarantees. The very fact that love is not “controllable,” is reason enough for some folks to remain shallow and fickle in their relationships. I think of a time when our youngest son was afraid to go into the deep end at the local pool. He wanted to stay in the shallow end where the dangers were minimized. The problem is the shallow end gets boring after a while, and the rest of the family wanted to go deeper. Sadly, many people act like my son did that day. They forgo deeply connected marriages and relationships because of fear. Once you recognize how these fears are affecting your relationship, it’s time to rid yourself of them. I share four simple solutions on how to do just this. Learn to embrace uncertainty. Brene Brown says, “the opposite of faith isn’t fear, it’s certainty.” Life isn’t certain, and love is a risk. In order for love to exist, you must take a risk. Heal from your past. This may require deep soul searching and/or working things out with a counselor or relationship coach. Silence your inner critic and replace your language. Steven Furtick, pastor of Elevation Church, wrote the book Crash the Chatterbox to help us tackle those limiting beliefs. Be careful of how you talk to yourself about yourself. Take the courageous next step forward. How do you scale a mountain? One step at a time. Don’t try to tackle all your relationship problems at once. Examine which fears are holding you back and tackle one at a time.   Would you like a relationship coach? Be sure to check out my coaching packages at http://danache.com/coaching. And finally, grab your free copy of The 5 Relationship Mistakes that are Wrecking Your Life today!   Thanks for listening to today’s episode. I appreciate your ratings and reviews!  Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

If you’ve been a real relationship with someone, chances are that person has likely offended or hurt you at some point and you’ve had to choose to forgive . . . or not. Sadly, many relationships end not because of an offense but because of the offended person’s inability to forgive. Forgiving someone who hurt you isn’t easy. As a matter of fact, the closer the relationship, the harder it is, sometimes, to extend forgiveness. In this podcast episode, my husband, Shaun, and I share from our own experience on times when we chose forgiveness. And, newsflash, it is work! However, there are a few quotes that I hang onto when I’m tempted to hold on to an offense and withhold forgiveness from someone: First, Nelson Mandela writes in his book, Long Walk to Freedom, “As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison." That.Is.Deep. When you chose to walk in forgiveness, you are literally walking out of a prison cell yourself. On the contrary, when you choose to hold on to unforgiveness, you remain locked in a prison cell of your own choosing. Secondly, Martin Luther King Jr. reminds us that, “He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love." You can’t really say you love someone if you aren’t willing to forgive him/her. Lastly, the words of Jesus Christ himself should send shivers down our spine when we realize that, “But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:5). I don’t know about you, but unforgiveness is a cost that I am unwilling to pay. It’s too expensive! Holding on to unforgiveness costs you true joy, peace, and relational wholeness. It just isn’t worth it. As a reminder, on each episode I will be answering a listener question on a segment I’m calling Q & A with Dana Che. Today’s question comes from an anonymous Facebook listener who wrote, “My wife and I have been struggling to rebuild our marriage for a long time. I am starting to lose hope. I don’t think I will ever be able to trust her again even though I am desperately trying. How can I trust her when she continues to keep things from me?” What a loaded question. You’ll have to be sure to tune in to the end of the podcast for my answer. Hint, hint, we covered this in detail on episode 3: Rebuilding Our Marriage, Rebuilding Trust.   Download your free e-book:  The 5 Relationship Mistakes that are Wrecking Your Life. Thank you for rating and reviewing this podcast! I appreciate your support!Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

It's a true fact that many people compare their relationship to someone else's. But what we don't talk about is how we compare ourselves to our partners. Comparison in relationships damages the joy, the appreciation, and the forward progression. We've all heard it said that the grass isn't green on the other side; it's green where you water it. And that is true. But what is also true is that when you learn to see your partner's strengths as assets that don't take anything away from you, you will be much less likely to compare yourself to them. I see this happen all the time in marriage. One spouse is better with finances or is more hospitable than the other. Instead of appreciation the differences, if spouses aren't careful, they can begin playing the comparison game. And real talk, there are no winners in the comparison game. It's not about being better than anyone else. Growing in relationships is about being better than you were yesterday.  My husband, Shaun, and I discuss how we have compared ourselves to each other in our marriage and the fallout it created. We also talk about how I compared our marriage to someone else's relationship and again . . . the fallout it created. Here's the thing: Shaun and I disagree on some aspects of comparing when it comes to unmet needs. You'll have to listen to hear us hash it out. In the meantime, be sure to download your free copy of the 5 Relationship Mistakes that are Wrecking Your Life and let us help you avoid these pitfalls in whatever relationship you find yourself in.  Download your copy here --> 5 Relationship Mistakes that are Wrecking Your Life  Like this podcast? Be sure to rate and review it and let me know what you think! Interested in working with Dana as your relationship coach? --> Danache.com/CoachingSupport the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Are you steadily losing interest in your marriage or relationship? Have past hurts, disappointments, or rejection taken its toll on you or your partner? Join me and my husband, Shaun, today, for a conversation about apathy and how it is silently killing your marriage or relationships. Apathy is one of the undetected obstacles that plague many relationships. A partner is repeatedly offended and instead of continuing to move toward his/her spouse, he/she begins to clam up and move away from (or disconnect from his/her spouse. Left unattended that indifference becomes a lack of interest that will threaten to keep you emotionally (and eventually physically) seperated. Many married couples (and those who aren't yet married) experience bouts of apathy and indifference. Is that normal? I would venture to say that there will always be some level of drifting in every relationship, but when it becomes prolonged, that's when it becomes a major problem. Shaun and I share from our experience on how hurt feelings, the silent treatment, and misunderstandings nearly destroyed our intimacy.  This is one conversation all married people need to hear. Your relationship is worth your time, energy, and attention. Don't allow the fear of rejection or past wounds to steal from the beautiful possibilities of what can be.  Stay with us as we launch season 2 of the podcast where we will dive into all five relationship mistakes that are wrecking your life from my newest ebook, The 5 Relationship Mistakes that are Wrecking Your Life. Get your copy here --> http://danache.com/relationshipmistakes. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Communication problems are the #1 reason most couples cite when separating or divorcing. But don't be fooled, every couple communicates . . . you just might not do it well. Today's episode features marriage pastor Richard and his wife Deanna Millentree who wrote the book, Face to Face: Conversation Starters for Couples, as a way to help those in marriages or relationships to learn how to have healthy communication and better ways to reconnect to one another. This conversation will help you determine what story you are telling yourself, how to give your partner the benefit of the doubt, and how to say what you really feel without judgment or shame.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Are you looking to have an extraordinary marriage? What if I told you that scheduling sex, being intentional with your intimacy, and having fun with your spouse were some of the top secrets of couples who enjoy a good marriage? Don’t just take my word for it. On todays’s episode, Tony and Alisa DiLorenzo of the One Extraordinary Marriage podcast grace us with their bold, effective marriage advice and help us to understand how to connect with a disconnected spouse, how to take the guesswork out of creating intimacy, and what six pillars every healthy marriage needs in order to thrive.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

With shows like Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant, teenage pregnancy used to be a hot topic conversation in many homes. Though statistics show that teen births have dramatically decreased, parents still need to have these crucial conversations about sex with their kids. My mom and I were both teen moms. On today's episode, we both our stories of overcoming the statistics. We also share super practical tips with parents on how to have intentional and purposeful sex conversations with your kids before BoBo down the street or Sexy Sally from the Internet schools 'em. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Having healthy relationships with people of other races is crucial, especially in the times we’re living in now. But, how do we have more productive, civil, compassionate, and courageous conversations with those we disagree with? The essence of healthy relationships isn’t that we don’t have conflicts, but that we learn how to manage them. My goal is to encourage you to have honest, vulnerable conversations that will help us to heal our world and make it a better place as we lean in to some necessary conversations about race. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Many of us have experienced childhood trauma that, unbeknownst to us, affects our marriage. Today's guests, Javier and Christina Llerena's marriage fell apart after a few years due to unresolved pain, unforgiveness, and a bout with depression. The Llerena's realized quickly that in order for their marriage to heal, they would need to do some real, internal work and surround themselves with a community of faith . . . specifically, other married couples who could support them in their dark season.  On this episode, we discuss the value of premarital counseling and what the red flags the Llerena's missed before getting married. There is also a cultural nuance in their marriage . . . Javier just became a U.S. citizen recently, and having a very different upbringing than Christina, the two struggled to connect. It all came to a head one fateful evening when Javier and Christina realized they needed help. Through making the choice to fight back and experience a breakthrough in their marriage, they have now helped hundreds of couples to overcome in marriage.  The Llerena's have written a book called Boundless Love, and serve premarital and marital couples in the California area primarily. To find out more about the Llerena's or to purchase their book, visit http://boundlesslove.us.    Thanks for listening to today's episode! For more information on my marriage coaching or upcoming workshops and to get your free copy of my latest e-book The 5 Relationship Mistakes that are Wrecking Your Life, head over to http://danache.com/relationship-mistakes.     Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

This episode is for single moms and single dads who are dealing with custody issues of children. Today's guest, Eric Carroll, founder of Dad Talk Today, shares with us some a very important perspective on the truth about "dead beat dads" and what's known as parental alienation. His commitment to see more dads be able to actually parent their kids is refreshing and his story, at times, is heartbreaking. Take a listen and see if you believe absent fathers have rights, and if so, what we can do to help them. Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.