A Married Couple's Relationship Tips for Single People (Single AF Series) – with Shaun Williams

If you’re a single person looking for solid relationship tips, look no further than today’s episode featuring my husband, Shaun, as we share from our heart some wisdom that will help you to value yourself and to make better decisions in your relationships. First off, full disclosure, Shaun and I were super young when we got married . . . I was 18, and he was 21. So, technically, our single days were pretty short-lived. However, we’ve heard (and continue to hear) from our single friends about the struggles they’re facing in the single game and want to help steer you clear of some common pitfalls.

We thought it was fitting for us, as a married couple, to give some advice for single people from a compassionate yet challenging perspective. One of my Facebook followers on the Real Relationship Talk page sent me a message asking why married men don’t offer “relationship tips” to single women. Um . . . let’s just lay aside the obvious problems with that statement and get to her concerns. She wrote, “Annnnd why is it that married men who seem like ‘Mr. Right’ with their spouse don't have any Mr. Right recommendations for the single sistahs in their lives? I feel like we're out here trying to point ‘em out on our own.” I asked Shaun to take a stab at this question, and his response spawned today’s episode.

This may seem like common sense, but far too many single people do not value themselves. They are not self-aware. They lack boundaries, and therefore, other people do not value them either. I see it all the time—beautiful, strong, smart, and capable women allowing themselves to be treated like options by undeserving men. This madness has to stop. The first relationship tip we give to single people is to honor yourself . . . value yourself. If you don’t, no one else will. 

Listen, if you don’t know who you are, you’ll allow everyone else to tell you who you are. Part of being confident and valuing yourself is shutting out society’s expectations, labels, and rules. You are not a Kardashian. You don’t have Kardashian money. You don’t have Kardashian clout. And you do not have Kris Jenner for your mom. Stop trying to “keep up with the Kardashians” or Kardashian-like expectations. No one’s body looks like that, not even theirs. So give yourself a break, and focus on your strengths. If you love you, other people will love you too.

Here’s some old-school relationship advice that really works. If you’re giving all the goods away and allowing your boyfriend/girlfriend to be too comfortable, why would they want to marry you? We’re not suggesting that you start playing games, but you do need to ask yourself what are you willing to withhold in order to encourage your significant other to make an investment in you? The age-old adage Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? still holds, friends.

We’ve all had “that” friend. The one who disappears like Casper when they begin a new relationship. It’s immature and insensitive. You need your friends. Don’t allow your new relationship status to undermine the very people you’re going to need to lean on when said relationship is over. Friends give us a different perspective. They encourage us when we’re down. And they bring balance to your life. So, don’t be shady; be a good friend.

I am so grateful to my husband, Shaun, for speaking to the hearts of my single listeners. I want you to be sure you’re subscribed to my email list so you can continue to receive these relationship tips on the regular using the link below.

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