Bids for Connection & Attention Plus The Cure for Loneliness in Relationships

November 21, 2023

00:00 31:40

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We all want attention in our relationships and will do just about anything to get it. Psychologists call this making a bid for connection. If you feel lonely or unheard, this will resonate with you today. We’re emphasizing the importance of communication and attention in relationships to alleviate loneliness and discussing how to make and respond to bids for connection. Feeling disconnected and lonely, even in the presence of others, is not uncommon. Physical proximity doesn't guarantee emotional closeness. To feel close to the one you’re with, both partners need to put in the work to hear what the other partner is not saying.

Key Insights and Solutions:

Recognize Bids for Connection: It’s important to recognize both verbal and nonverbal cues from partners seeking connection. These cues, or "bids," can range from a sigh after a hard day to a subtle gesture for attention. Ignoring these bids can deepen feelings of loneliness and rejection.
Respond Appropriately and Timely: It’s best to respond to these bids in the moment, as delayed responses can exacerbate feelings of neglect. Immediate and appropriate reactions, whether it’s empathetic listening or a simple acknowledgment, are huge. This lets your partner know you are actively building connection with them.

Head over to realrelationshiptalk.com/191 for the full show notes.

Links Mentioned in this Episode:

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Meet Your Host

Dana Che is the founder of Thrive Relationships, where she serves as a marriage and relationship coach and host of the Rebuilding Us marriage podcast. She also serves as a preaching pastor at her church. Whether in the church or on her podcast, Dana's mission is singular: to help people rebuild their relationships through the grace and guidance of the Lord.

On Rebuilding Us, she is known for her graceful candor, humor, and her encouraging yet challenging advice. Dana holds a B.A. in communication from Regent University. She has a fierce passion for fashion and a fiercer passion for truth. She shares her life with Shaun, her loving husband of over twenty-five years, their four amazing children, and their “multi-cultural” dog in beautiful Virginia Beach, VA.

Connect with Dana:
Instagram: @mrsdanache
Website: danache.com