How to Create a Vision for Your Marriage - My Step by Step Process

So you're convinced you need a vision for your marriage, but what is the step-by-step process to actually creating a vision for your marriage that both you and spouse can grasp? Get ready to nurture and grow your marriage into the one you’ve always desired. Let 2023 be the year you begin creating a marriage vision. I go through this exercise with every one of my coaching clients because of how transformative it is. This is hands down, one of my most favorite topics because of how valuable this exercise can be in your marriage. In today’s episode I teach you how to create a vision in your marriage and how to live by it. 

Step one to begin creating a vision in your marriage is to get in a quiet space and remove distractions. If possible, I recommend going away for a day or two to get some focused alone time together. This will allow each of you to be removed from everyday distractions and settle into the exercise of creating your marriage vision. If that’s not possible, get some quite focused time together right where you are. This can be done in a coffee shop, a long drive, a walk around your neighborhood, or even in your undistracted bedroom. This time is about being focused together to create the vision. 

There are so many benefits of praying together as a couple. When you pray, you invite God into the decision making process of your life. Step two of creating a vision in your marriage is to pray. This is time for you and your spouse to come together and ask God where you need to head in the next year. Allow him to lead you and show you his vision for your life. When you invite God into this time, he will help provide the answers for the direction you and your spouse should go in your vision.

When you write something down, your brain tends to remember that thing more than if you just think about it. Step three is writing down every word that comes to mind when you think of the marriage you desire to have . Both husband and wife will start by writing down positive words about your marriage. This list should be exhaustive and helpful in creating a vision for your marriage because it gets all the ideas on paper. In writing these words, you will start to think about how you would like to shape your marriage in a more positive way. This is the part in the process where each partner can freely write whatever they desire in the marriage. Together, you should have around 25-30 words written down. 

After you write down the words, you will circle or highlight the words that resonate with you and your partner the most. Step four is taking the words that you and your partner felt most connected to and bring them to life. You will then use these words to create short phrases for creating a vision in your marriage. Use the words to come up with a few solid sentences that could be used as your marriage vision statement.

Once you have some phrases identified, begin to start forming some sentences. These sentences should be coming from language that you and your partner already use. You really want to embrace authenticity when it comes to creating your marriage vision. Remember, this is your vision statement together! Both husband and wife need to participate equally to feel heard and be excited about this. This is your future after all. Give yourself some time to go through this exercise. This may take a few iterations to get your vision statement to a good place, but it’s worth the time.

The time has come for you and your partner to rehearse the vision statement out loud. Memorize this special sacred statement that you can return back to each day together. Each person must memorize the vision statement and continue to keep this vision in the forefront of their mind. Together as you rehearse, you will remember the importance of creating a vision in your marriage.

Episode 125: Why You Need a Vision for Your Marriage with Gaby Sundra

Real Relationship Talk

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