How to Know When to Give Up Hope in a Relationship (Hope Series)

How do you know when your relationship is over? Maybe you’re tempted to throw in the towel. But then, is doing so the right thing? Being in the middle of the choice to end a relationship or keep hope alive can be daunting. For people of faith, we know that “with God, all things are possible,” but are there are times when it is really the end?

There are several questions to consider when you’re vacillating between the decision to end a relationship or to continue to hope for change. I discuss four questions to think about in today’s episode and expound on each.

1. What needs to change in the relationship in order for it to grow?
2. How will it change?
3. Do you (or your partner) truly want to change?
4. What or how do I need to change?

At the end of the day, remember that “If nothing changes, nothing changes.”

If you’re a Christian, you are likely familiar with Scriptures that talk about hope. These Scriptures are meant to encourage us as we journey through life’s challenges. There are some, however, who believe that God’s will overrides all decision-making. It’s as if no matter what we do, God’s will ensures that success will “magically” happen. Bear with me. Though I believe that God is ultimately in control, I also know that God does not force His will upon us.

“God’s sovereign will does not usurp our human will.”

If you’re in a relationship with someone and he/she does not want to change, God will not force him/her. Are you holding on to hope or wishful thinking? Think on that.

When we are praying through a decision, we must follow the way of peace. Philippians 4:6-7 reminds us, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

We must not only pray but wait for an answer. God will lead you. Trust him.

Finally, as you decide on if it’s time to give up hope in your relationship, you must also you’re your fears. When you expose your fears, they lose their power. When you’re trying to decide to stay or go, are you afraid of how you’ll look to others? Afraid that God will be disappointed with you? Afraid of being hurt again? Be honest with yourself and deal with the hidden fears in your heart.

Listen to the complete episode for a much more in-depth conversation on all these points.

And remember, “When the pain of staying stuck outweighs the pain of making a change, you’ll change.”

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