Love Is Kind. But Are You? (Love Is . . . Series) - with Anne Visser

I was reading an article last year about when a mutual friend set up Prince Harry and Megan Markle on a blind date.   Megan says she had only question in mind: "Is he kind?" Love is kind, so let's talk about kindness. We’ve seen the t-shirts, we’ve used the hashtags, but how important is kindness to a relationship? Or to a marriage for that matter? To be honest, ya’ll, I wouldn’t rate kindness as one of my top attributes.   I mean, I’m not mean, but it’s just that there are so many other qualities that rank more important to me than kindness.  Like responsible.  Dependable.   Faithful.  Heck, even a sense of humor.   But the more I think about it, I realize being in a relationship with someone who isn’t kind is kinda rough. 

What do you think about when you think of the word kindness? For some reason, Barney comes to my mind.   He’s always smiling.   He never seems to have a bad day.   He’s forever optimistic.   And Barney loves everyone. Kindness is usually synonymous with gentleness.   Therefore, many men don’t readily identify with this word.   Can you be tough and kind? Can you have swag and be kind? Cool and kind? Or do you need to act like Barney? I think kindness is more about a heart expression than a facial expression.   Kindness is more than just being nice.  It’s compassionate, selfless, and its very definition is the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate.   Kindness is putting others first.   And you can do all of that without smiling. 

In Ephesians 4:32, Paul instructs Christians to be kind to one another.   Tenderhearted, forgiving one another just as God, for Christ’s sake, forgives us.   Elsewhere, in Galatians, we see that kindness is a fruit of the Spirit…basically it’s one of the evidences of God’s spirit in you… or not. We all know about those mean ol’ church ladies, right? 

I’ve been the recipient of random acts of kindness more times than I can count.   Several years ago, after a long and stressful day of non-stop sports, I pulled my weary self into the Chick-fil-A drive through.   I knew it would be the cashier's pleasure to serve me, or at least that's what they always say, I mean kindness is literally written all over their employee handbook.   But what I didn't expect is the person in front of me to pay for my whole ticket.   Do ya'll know how expensive Chick-Fil-A is for a family of six? You might at well go sit down somewhere at a restaurant.  

Another time at Starbucks after ordering an especially sugary drink and battling shame as I inched my way through the drive-through.   Again, someone, a complete stranger, paid for my drink.   FYI: I haven’t battled shame in the Starbucks line ever since. Kindness literally destroys shame.   Ooohhh... 

Kindness is a theme all throughout Scripture.   God extends us kindness through giving us grace and mercy.   Jesus modeled kindness by caring for the poor, lifting up women in a hyper-mysoginistic culture.   From the patriarch, Abraham, who showed hospitality to strangers (who just happened to be angels), to the prostitute, Rahab who hid the Israelite warriors from her own people who were trying to kill them, and the prophet Hosea, who married a wayward prostitute and kept pursuing her while she was pursuing other men, all of these people extended kindness without expecting anything in return.   But ya’ll know what, when you do something kind without expecting anything in return, God has a way of returning it back to you. 

There’s this really beautiful Hebrew word Hesed that shows up in the Bible.   Hesed means loyal love, faithful devotion and unfailing kindness.   Sounds just like God to me.   But did you know we are called to show hesed in our marriages and relationships? Loyalty, faithful devotion, unfailing kindness.   These are all action-oriented nouns. Hesed is kindness rooted in love. So we know kindness is good for us spirit, but can talk about science for a bit? 

Did you know that according to Mayo Clinic Health, being kind boosts serotonin and dopamine, which are neurotransmitters in the brain that give you feelings of satisfaction and well-being, and cause the pleasure/reward centers in your brain to light up? Endorphins, which are your body's natural pain killer, also can be released just be practicing kindness.   So hesed is good for your physical health too!  Being kind just feels good.   

I think one of the most obvious ways we can show hesed is in how we communicate, specifically how we talk to those we’re in