Q & A: My Spouse Wants to Leave. Should I Wait Around?

February 07, 2025
00:00 09:48
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I received a question from a listener whose husband wants to leave the marriage to seek “personal happiness.” She faces the difficult decision of whether to wait for him to find clarity or to move forward with divorce after their 24 years together, of which 13 were spent in marriage.

Here are some of the highlights from the episode:

Understanding Where Happiness is Found: I discussed the common misconception that happiness is a destination. In reality, happiness is a choice you make. Chasing after it without internal work is often fruitless.

Purposeful Separation & Marriage Goals Even Here: If separation is the route chosen, it should be approached with clear goals. Arranging a separation with a mutually agreed-upon purpose and timeframe can help both spouses understand what they truly want from the future.

Working on Yourself No Matter the Outcome: I applauded my listener for seeking therapy and emphasized the importance of continuing personal growth, regardless of her husband's decisions.

The Power of Forgiveness: Even when reconciliation is not possible, pursuing forgiveness can free individuals from bitterness and resentment, enabling them to heal and move forward positively.

When considering separation, it’s important to ask whether everything that could be done to save the marriage has been tried before deciding on divorce. This way, even if the marriage ends, you’ll know you gave it all you could give.

If you have any questions or issues in your marriage that you'd like me to address, feel free to reach out via my website or on Instagram.

Links Mentioned in this Episode:

The "7 Secret Marriage Rules" audio

For those of you considering a similar path, I suggest listening to my episode with Dr. Kim Kimberling, "Five Boxes to Check Before You Divorce" (Episode 245), to thoroughly evaluate your decision.

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Meet Your Host
Dana Che is the founder of Thrive Relationships, where she serves as a marriage and relationship coach and host of the Rebuilding Us marriage podcast. She also serves as a preaching pastor at her church. Whether in the church or on her podcast, Dana's mission is singular: to help people rebuild their relationships through the grace and guidance of the Lord.

On Rebuilding Us, she is known for her graceful candor, humor, and her encouraging yet challenging advice. Dana holds a B.A. in communication from Regent University. She has a fierce passion for fashion and a fiercer passion for truth. She shares her life with Shaun, her loving husband of over twenty-five years, their four amazing children, and their “multi-cultural” dog in beautiful Virginia Beach, VA.

Connect with Dana:
Instagram: @mrsdanache
Website: danache.com
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