306 Support for Caregivers: Navigating Challenges, Embracing Faith, and Prioritizing Self-Care

Episode Summary: In this episode of Your Hope Filled Perspective, we honor National Caregivers Month by shining a light on the often unseen challenges and rewards of care-giving. Whether you’re a caregiver yourself or know someone who is, this conversation will provide encouragement, practical tips, and faith-based hope to navigate the emotional, physical, and spiritual toll of caregiving. Carole Leathem and I discuss the misconceptions about caregiving, the importance of self-care, and ways communities can better support caregivers. Join us as we explore how faith and community can sustain caregivers through their most challenging moments while also revealing the unexpected blessings caregiving can bring.

Quotables from the episode:

• There are 55 million caregivers in the world.
• Caregiving often comes with, as you've alluded to, a range of emotions. You called it a roller coaster of emotions, which I think is a beautiful picture of just exactly what's that like. It comes with grief, it comes with guilt. Sometimes it even comes with resentment.
• How can caregivers process these feelings in a healthy way? Well, for me, it really boils down to what I call asking the right questions. Because early on, I was asking, why in the heck is this happening? What did I do to cause this? I would cry out to God and say, why are you allowing this? I would say all of these why, why, why, why, why questions. And the why questions would get me nowhere. And one day, God, in my quiet time, said to me, “Carol, you're asking the wrong question.” And the question I needed to be doing asking was “okay this is happening, now what?”
• What I have now done is, I have taken the focus off the why which is the focus on me and what I'm going through and what I'm feeling now I'm not diminishing those emotions but when I am focused on me and my hurt and my pain and my resentment, then I'm not doing anything to get myself off that hamster wheel or that roller coaster.
• When I ask the right question, which is, I make a statement to God, “okay, this is happening. Now, what?” Then I can take a step back, my eyes are us back on God. My heart is now open to the mistakes that I'm making. And the emotions now can one by one be dealt with. How do I deal with the resentment? Well, when I say to “God, you know, I didn't sign up for this.” God says to me, “Oh girl, yeah, you did. Remember those vows that you took 48 years ago.” And I'm like, yeah, you're right. And all that does is it just kind of puts it back into a perspective, because the perspective of focusing on me is not as healthy as the perspective of focusing on God.
• God didn't answer Job. When Job said why, God had something else for Job to learn. And when you say now what that offers God the opportunity to teach you either something about yourself, something about your spouse, or something about him. Yeah,… those are hard fought lessons. But I'm convinced that sometimes the only way we learn those lessons is walking through the hard times. I agree. I agree with you 100%. “
• I have this space created so that when I walk into this room, it's me. It's my safe place. It's my place where I do my quiet time. It's my place where I work. It's my place where I do my podcasts. It's where I do everything in this room. I had to create a space. And fortunately, I had a room that I could do that with. So I come in here and if life is particularly hard, I have to tell myself 15 minutes is not going to change anything outside these walls, but it can make a big difference in me.
• We make time for the things that are important. We can always find time if we make it important enough.
• The real bottom line is, and I deal with a lot of caregivers, we make time for what's important, and that is the honest truth. … we can always find time if we make it important enough. So we have to make it important. And I hope that you're listening because that is such a valuable nugget because we really do make time for what's important. The number of times that I hear people say, oh, I just don't have time. You know, we all have 24 hours in a day, And we are all going to spend every minute of those 24 hours, but we will spend it on what we deem is important. And so if your loved one that you are caring for, if you deem them as important, you need to also deem your own self -care as important.
• You can still experience joy even in the midst of sorrow.
• It comes down to perspective and how we’re looking at it. It’s not about me, even though it feels like it’s about me.
• We have to know our limits. There are some things when we’re dealing with caregiving there’s things I can do, and then there’s things I can’t do. The hardest thing is to understand