Your Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson podcast

Episode Summary:  In this Sacred Scar Story, we hear from Lori Wildenberg who faced the unimaginable pain of nearly losing her daughter to depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts. She shares how her faith and God’s presence guided her through this dark journey, ultimately bringing healing to both her daughter and herself. This story of resilience and hope offers encouragement for anyone navigating similar struggles. Quotables from the episode: Wounds have to be uncovered and cleaned out before real healing can take place. With great pain often comes fear, which can paralyze us and keep us from moving forward. Even when God healed my loved one, I had to come to the realization that I, too, had wounds that needed healing. It sounds counterintuitive but helping others helped heal me. God sets us up to have interdependent relationships. God is our helper. Even those parts of our lives that are messy and embarrassing can be used by God to help others. If you suspect your child is suffering from anxiety, depression, or suicidal ideation, ask them if they are thinking of hurting themselves, so you don’t have to ask, ‘Why didn’t they tell me?’  Scripture References: Hebrews 6:19 (NIV) We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.  John 16:33 (NIV) I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.    Recommended Resources:  Messy Hope: Help Your Child Overcome Anxiety, Depression, or Suicidal Ideation by Lori Wildenberg Messy Journey: How Grace and Truth Offer the Prodigal a Way Home by Lori Wildenberg Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson  The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out to God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms   Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion 7-Day Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day YouVersion 7-Day Devotional, Today is Going to be Another Good Day Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free 7-Day YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Trusting God Through Cancer 1 Trusting God Through Cancer 2 Revive & Thrive Women's Conference Subdue Stress and Anxiety: Fifteen Experts Offer Comprehensive Tools in Ten Minutes a Day. Use my link plus discount code BENG99 to save $90 on course (course will be $99.) Free Download: How To Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win   Social Media Links for Guest and Host: Connect with Lori Wildenberg: Website / Facebook / FB Community / FB Group / <a href="https://www.instagram.co

Episode Summary: Our guest on this episode, Kathy Collard Miller, was raised by a very angry mother. The more Kathy tried to suppress her anger, the more it surfaced. Over time, Kathy found herself expressing her anger toward her husband and her daughter, and in her own words, abusing her daughter. Kathy shares her painful wounds in this episode, as well as the story of redemption and the beautiful sacred scars God has given her. Quotables from the episode: Sometimes when we talk about pain or wounds, that pain comes at the hand of another. Sometimes we have no explanation for why it happens (like a medical diagnosis), and sometimes we participate in choices that end up hurting us in the long run. Frequently our greatest areas of ministry come out of our greatest areas of pain. I have a unique story because not only was I wounded, but I wounded others in turn. As a child, I didn’t know I had anger building up inside of me until in third grade I hit my best friend in the nose. To this day, I have no recollection what I was so angry about that would prompt me to be aggressive. As my friend ran away sobbing, I thought to myself, “See what happens when you get angry, Kathy? You’d better never get angry again!” Buried anger doesn’t go anywhere except making a volcano. Also in the third grade, I was sexually harmed, although I didn’t know that that was what it was called, but I thought it was my fault and that I should have prevented it. So the anger toward myself began to build. My mother was orphaned at the age of ten, resulting in her own anger issues toward me that built up inside of me. I didn’t know it would be detrimental toward others later, but I’ve also found it to be something that God has used in amazing ways. I was never taught how to appropriately deal with my anger. As a little girl who tried to be perfect to prevent me from overreacting in anger, I then thought that God must be disappointed in me and that he was expecting me to be angry. Because of the messages I was taught when I was growing up, I pictured God in heaven with his arms crossed saying, “Kathy, when are you going to be perfect so I can love you?” After I became a Christian at 17, I married my husband, Larry. But all the anger that had built up in me started coming out toward him because his promise of being my perfect, Godly, prince charming didn’t come true and left me totally disappointed. I interpreted that as there was something wrong with me. I began to believe I wasn’t loved or cared for and that came out in bitterness, anger, criticism, never being happy, or never being thankful for what my husband did do. I began to displace my anger toward my husband on to my two-year-old daughter because when she misbehaved, I interpreted that as “I am a horrible mother.” In the end, I began to physically abuse her. I kept praying for an instantaneous deliverance of my anger and when God didn’t do that, I believed God had given up on me, and I almost took my life. But God intervened. We have to feel it to heal it, meaning we have to acknowledge the pain. Then we have to choose to engage in the healing process. When we don’t choose the path of healing, other things will happen and there will be consequences of that, until one day it comes out at a less opportune time and a less opportune way. Scripture talks about the importance of getting wise counsel. There is no shame in needing help. Seek out a trusted friend, a mentor, a counselor, a coach, or a pastor and get help.  Do not try to handle your pain alone. When people didn’t follow through with what they said they were going to do, I concluded that I was worthless. My healing began when I got the courage to share my sin with the women in my Bible study that I led in my neighborhood. They began to hold me accountable, and they prayed for me. I started taking parenting classes and reading books and I read in the Bible Ephesians 4:26, “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” I can be angry, but surrender whatever it is that I think I deserve that’s causing my anger. God showed me that I was making my husband an idol because I was expecting him to be responsible for my happiness and contentment. That brought me to the place where I could acknowledge God was the only one who could fully meet my needs. And whether or not my husband ever changed, that was up to God. As God began to have me share my story, other women would come up to tell me that they struggled with the same thing but had never told anyone else. My relationship with my daughter and our family is healed. She has always supported my ministry sharing with others how I treated her. She loves God. I thought I had destroyed her, but God has redeemed us and brought about a sacred scar. Th

Episode Summary:  Have you ever prayed fervently for something for years, or even decades and began to doubt that God would answer your prayers? My guest on today’s episode is Bunny Yekzaman who prayed for over 20 years for her Muslim husband to receive God’s gift of salvation. Her journey took a powerful turn when she learned to pray in faith and release control to God’s timing. Thought it was a painful time in her life, Bunny shares how God redeemed that pain, bringing beautiful sacred scars in place of her painful wounds.    Quotables from the episode: Sometimes we create wounds ourselves and we don’t even realize we are doing it. I was raised to not marry an unbeliever. I was told “don’t do this” or “don’t do that” but there was really no education as to why. But there are important principles in God’s word about why we shouldn’t be unequally yoked—it’s an element of protection that God puts around us if we will just obey his word. Sometimes we don’t really mean to disobey Him, but sometimes we just really don’t understand that that protection is coming from God. I knew not to marry an unbeliever, but I didn’t understand why. Was that really from God, or was that just another rule to follow? When I got into college, I met a man who was totally on the other side of the world from me. He was raised Muslim, raised in Iran, came here to go to school, denounced his beliefs, accepted the communist teaching and was teaching that in an undergraduate class at the college I attended. When they told me to stay away from him, it just made me want to run toward him. When I realized that I was a believer and he was an unbeliever, I began to think that maybe this was supposed to be my goal: to change this man so I spent 8 years trying to change him. We knew each other for eight months and then got married. Nobody said it would work, and it almost didn’t because I did step into a relationship unequally yoked. We think love is going to cure everything, but there is not true love where there isn’t a relationship with Christ. So maybe I had this deep abiding love for Jesus and for my husband, but my husband couldn’t understand that because he didn’t know the love of Christ. I went for years, trying to prove to him who Christ was and that he needed to know Jesus. I raised our children in the church, and it became a real battle because he began to believe that he was in competition with God. I realized that I had stepped outside of God’s will when I married him. I prayed and prayed for his salvation, and I learned how to love my husband with the love of Christ and not expect anything in return. He was a great husband and a great father in all other aspects, but it angered him that the children and I were praying for him and that I could have this confidence that when I died, I would go to heaven. In the Muslim faith there was an evidence of works in everything they did, so even though he denounced his faith, he couldn’t understand how the gift of eternal life was based on God’s grace. It took about 20 years of marriage before I really started seeing change. My children were on a mission trip, and I was at home, on my knees again praying for God to save my husband when I sensed a gentle voice in my spirit saying, “Bunny, don’t ask me again.” The Bible talks about being persistent in prayer, so I didn’t understand what God meant. There are three reasons why we often continue to plead with God to answer our prayers: 1) impatience, 2) wanting to be in control, and 3) not believing God for his answer. God was showing me that I was asking him for my husband’s salvation, but I wasn’t asking in faith—I was asking in doubt. We can have confidence when we pray. There is no shred of doubt that when we ask God according to his will, it will be done. But that means we have to know what his will is. If I’m praying for someone’s salvation, that’s God’s will. And if I believe that’s God’s will, and it is, then I can have a confident assurance that God is going to do what he said he is going to do. I can hold onto that promise and it changes the way I pray! After that, I stopped praying asking God to save my husband, and began praying, “Thank you God for saving my husband.” I’m thanking God for what he said he would do. He wants us to have faith. Faith isn’t believing after we see it, it’s believing before we see it. When I realized God’s word is true, I wasn’t trusting in me, I was trusting Him. Ultimately, my husband gave his life to Christ, he surrendered to the ministry, went to seminary, and has been the pastor at the nursing home where I work for three years now. Get out of God’s way. Get on your knees and thank God in advance for whatever it is you’re praying for, and trust him. Don’t pray with an agend

Episode Summary:  In this episode, author, speaker, and mother, Jodi Howe, shares the painful wounds she has gone through as she has parented a child with gender identity issues. She shares the wisdom that God has granted her in how to remain true to the gospel of Jesus Christ, but still love her daughter.   Quotables from the episode: Often God uses our most painful experiences to minister to others. The ultimate way to glorify the Lord is to turn our pain into power. My testimonies come from experience with anxiety, divorce, and having a transgender child. But He equips, He leads, He walks alongside us, and I’m at the point now where I’m speaking from a healed scar, not a wound. I’ve gone through years of learning, growing, messing up, and trying to stay close to my faith in Christ and love my daughter through this. The thorn in my flesh came about ten years ago when my daughter told me she doesn’t like the skin that she is in and wants to transition into a male. I firmly believe that God does not mistakes and that the gender you are born in is the gender you are to live in. But that doesn’t mean that our children and the culture they live in don’t feel lost in who they are. In the course of a decade, not much has changed in her decision, but what has changed is how I approach it as a mom who is adamantly and passionately in love with Jesus Christ and is adamantly and passionately in love with my child. The Lord has shown me that I need to be open to what an agape love looks like, not just the love a mother to a child, but His love as spelled out in First Corinthians. God has shown me such incredible growth in this process. Gender identity issues is not being born in the wrong skin. This is actual societal pressure, infused by the internet, put upon lonely hearts and minds that are struggling just to get by at the times when they are the most vulnerable and the affirmations by doctors, therapists, teachers and educators who say if you want to be a duck, and act like a duck, we’re going to help you be a duck. Satan, through society, is really putting a stronghold on those vulnerabilities. But the good news is, God is prevailing through it as I knew He would, in my life, in my family’s life, and in my child’s life. You grow in Christ as fast as you are intentional about growing. I have been intentional from the day I accepted Jesus into my heart that I was going to build a life and a foundation on who He is, on His foundation. I am going to build my life around Him. These children are told that if your parents won’t let you be who you want to be, you need to threaten suicide or even attempt it so they will get on your bandwagon of transitional change in your body. 90% of transgender men and women are coming from a traumatic circumstance. It’s crucial to thoroughly vet the mental health therapists you go to for therapy. We don’t have agree or like the choices of our children. But when God says “love the Lord with all your strength, heart and soul, and love thy neighbor,” when we appreciate how much he loved us to send Jesus to die for our sins, we don’t get to love haphazardly—it is a full love of acceptance. What it has shown me is that I can love her alongside the struggles and the choices she has made. It has softened my heart to not feel as much shame, to not feel as much resentment, to not worry what people think of me…when I go to bed at night, I only care what God thinks of me. I believe that our omniscient God is going to be able to weave this into something beautiful. I know the Lord would want me to have a relationship with my child no matter what. I adore my child, and she is going to see how I, her mother who loves the Lord, is going to honor her. So there is going to be a lot of pressure on me to keep my Godly heart in check, and I’m willing to do it for the sake of my child, and most importantly, to glorify the Lord. You can stay a beautiful believer in Jesus Christ, believe that the gospels are real, and you can still love your LBGT family member but you can’t do it without God. God will show you. He will equip you, He will provide for you, and He will comfort your heart when it’s at the lowest of lows. He will speak to you, and He will give you the words to say that will speak love. We need to go to God and ask Him how to navigate this world. The only hill to die on is the one that Jesus tells me to die on, and so far, He has told me to keep going. Are we loving God’s people to life? Jesus keeps the door open, and I think He’s asking us to do the same thing. We often can’t help what happens to us, but we can take it to the Lord and we can trust that He’s weaving it and working it out for good. I’m trying very hard that regar

Episode Summary:  In this episode we continue the “Sacred Scar Story Series.” My guest, Georgia Shaffer, shares the pain of a broken engagement and what she thought that meant for her ministry and service to God. She shares the beautiful sacred scar that her wounds have produced, and how God is using her in the lives of others.   Quotables from the episode: Shame from the actions of another made me feel like there was “something wrong with me!” I felt like a fool, and believed I was unlovable. Because of the pain I went through, I was sure God would never use me again. Healing came when I got involved in a supportive community that helped me to focus on the truth of God’s word. I learned I had to take my focus off the pain, and place my full focus on God. Painful trials make us more powerful because we can relate to the suffering of others. When you’re in a painful trial that you had no control over, don’t isolate, take time to grief, and seek out a supportive community with whom you can process your pain. In my painful circumstances, I learned what God can do. Pain is an opportunity for growth.   Recommended Resources:  A Gift of Mourning Glories: Restoring Your Life After Loss by Georgia Shaffer  Taking Out Your Emotional Trash: Face Your Feelings and Build Healthy Relationships by Georgia Shaffer Avoiding the 12 Relationship Mistakes Women Make by Georgia Shaffer Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson  The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out to God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms   Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion 7-Day Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day YouVersion 7-Day Devotional, Today is Going to be Another Good Day Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free 7-Day YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Trusting God Through Cancer 1 Trusting God Through Cancer 2 Revive & Thrive Women's Conference Subdue Stress and Anxiety: Fifteen Experts Offer Comprehensive Tools in Ten Minutes a Day. Use my link plus discount code BENG99 to save $90 on course (course will be $99.) Free Download: How To Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win   Social Media Links for Guest and Host: Connect with Georgia Shaffer: Website / Membership / Facebook / X / Instagram For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book <a href="https://amzn.to/2Vus9SJ" rel=

Episode Summary:  In this episode, Karen DeArmond Gardner opens up about the deep shame she experienced as a victim of domestic abuse in her thirty-year marriage. She shares the painful journey of living through abuse and the healing after abuse that transformed her life. Karen explains the key factors in her healing process, including how God replaced her pain and shame with sacred scars, giving her a powerful testimony of restoration and hope. Quotables from the episode: Some of our greatest areas of ministry comes out of our greatest areas of pain. I survived a thirty-year abusive marriage. I’ve been out 19 years, and it’s easier for me to talk about now becomes there comes a time when there’s been enough healing that it’s more about remembering than reliving the experience that happened. I experienced force of control, the threat of violence to control, to manipulate, and to gaslight so I would do what he wanted, how and when he wanted. Often, domestic abuse doesn’t involve hitting. I believed as a Christian that God hates divorce, so I thought this was my cross to bear and that I was called to suffer through it for Jesus. I didn’t know I could leave. People often asked, “Why did you stay?” Because I didn’t know I could leave and I was terrified of my husband who was in law enforcement, and I knew his capabilities.  Instead of asking someone “why did you stay?” The better question is, “Why would he abuse his wife whom he supposedly loves?” Put it back on the one who caused the harm rather than the one who endured the harm. I didn’t want this to be my story. The shame was so powerful. I was a good Christian girl, so rather than share the shame of my story, I buried it. It was like putting a Band-Aid on a bullet wound and being unable to stop the bleeding. When I chose to leave, the aftermath was just as hard. Back then we didn’t have the resources that we have today. So there was the trauma of an abusive marriage, but then there was the aftermath in the healing. None of us would say “Oh I want to marry an abuser.” Being a Christ follower did not prevent me from experiencing abuse. When I left, shame covered me like a scratchy wool blanket and people could see it. I couldn’t look anyone in the eye and I didn’t want to be seen. When I realized no one wanted to know my story of pain, I internalized the shame and I put on a mask. You would see the absolute ugliness if I let you in, so I didn’t show you my real self. Shame has a look and a sound and how we behave. Shame affects how we talk and behave. Shame comes from the enemy and from the abuser. So, a lot of the shame we carry isn’t even ours. With His death, Jesus shamed the enemy with the cross. So, we can put the shame back on the enemy where it belongs. I changed churches over time and started attending a church where I was taught that I could heal from this experience.  For me, it started with reading “Mending the Soul.” About a decade later, I went through a period of grieving over something else and I realized I had never grieved my pain or losses before. That propelled my healing. So I always recommend grieving while you heal. God doesn’t have a cookie-cutter way of healing. If you can go to therapy, do that. Nothing gets wasted in your healing journey. In my healing journey, I realized who God really is, and who I really am. God says to call unto Him and He will come to us. Trauma is a liar. It distorts who God is. He is so much kinder, so much more loving, so much more gentle, but yet, God is a lion, He is my protector, He is my body guard. It is encountering God in those dark, painful places that we learn who God really is to us and for us. Frequently, the sacred scar that comes out of these painful wounds is greater intimacy with God, knowing Him deeper, it’s understanding the fullness of His character. Anger is part of the healing process. God can handle that anger! Anger is not the primary emotion—it’s the secondary. There is something else that is going on. Scripture References: Romans 2:4 “It is the kindness of God that leads to repentance.” Isaiah 45:3 NIV “I will give you hidden treasures, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who summons you by name.” Ezekiel 34   Recommended Resources:  Hope for Healing from Domestic Abuse: Reaching for God’s Promise of Real Freedom by Karen DeArmond Gardner  When Healing After Domestic Abuse, God Will Meet You – Your Hope Filled Perspective, episode 120 <a href="https://drmichelleb

Episode Summary:  In this Sacred Scar Story, I chat with Carole Leathem, a mental health caregiver who founded a caregiving ministry after becoming the primary caregiver for her pastor husband who struggled with mental health issues, and later, her mother. Carole shares how she coped with the emotional impact of her caregiving journey, including the pain of being disqualified from ministry due to her husband's struggles. She opens up about the deep wounds she experienced and how God turned things around for good, transforming her scars into a powerful source of healing and service to others.   Quotables from the episode: So often our greatest areas of ministry come out of our greatest areas of pain and woundedness. I experienced physical, emotional, mental, relational, and spiritual wounds and it completely changed the trajectory of my life and ministry. My husband of many years was a pastor and woke up one morning experiencing anxiety that continued to worsen. By the end of 2016, the anxiety led to full blown depression. It kind of blindsided me because I had never been around anyone with such devastating anxiety or depression. Eventuallly, he became suicidal and had to go into a psychiatric hospital for seven days which created chaos and messiness in our lives. When the dust settled, he could no longer pastor or do his job resulting in his early retirement. I had a fulltime speaking ministry, but all of a sudden my speaking engagements began to cancel because somehow, his mental instability disqualified me in their eyes. Scars remind us that there was a pain, that there was an injury. I went from having an incredible life, to standing in a parking lot one night asking God, “God, what has happened to my life?” But I found God walking through it with me one step at a time. I found that he had put things into place for this season 20-25 years ago that I was going to need that day. The wound was so deep, and we didn’t know who was safe to talk about our pain. I’ve been through a lot, but this was probably the most pivotal turning point in my life. In my book, Sacred Scars, I (Dr. B) shared that I was raised by a mother who was depressed my entire childhood and then I experienced severe clinical depression. I feared that that would disqualify me from my work in mental health. But what I found was that experience made me much more compassionate and empathic toward others, and my patients and readers could tell that I truly understand them because I had experienced it myself. I had already found freedom from having been raised by an alcoholic father and a narcissistic, abusive mother, but when you go through something so catastrophic, like I did with my husband, it triggered all the thoughts about not being good enough, who do you think you are, and now what do I do? Immediately I got into Scripture because I knew that if I didn’t stay grounded in God’s Word, those lies were going to destroy me. I needed to be strong not only for myself but for my husband, and I needed to go where the absolute truth was. I said to God, “Even if I never stand on a platform or teach the Bible again, I know it’ll be okay because you are in this with me.” When a crisis hits, we have to already know what we believe because that is what we will fall back on. We can’t wait until a crisis hits to determine what we believe because in a crisis we are more likely to react than to respond, if we don’t have a firm foundation based on truth.   Scripture References: James 1:2-4 MSG “Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.”   Recommended Resources:   Self-Care for Caregivers – Your Hope Filled Perspective episode 168 10 Scriptures of Encouragement for Caregivers Hope and Help for How to Avoid Caregiver Burnout – Your Hope Filled Perspective episode 12 Caring for the Caregiver Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson  The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out to God When Pain Over

Episode Summary:  This week’s guest on the Sacred Scar Story Series, Barb Roose, faced prejudice from early childhood. This led to her believing she was never enough and compensating by trying to “outperform her race.” She shares her story, and how she found healing, and God’s peace.  Quotables from the episode: I love the message that God can use all things because when we’re in deep pain, that’s the opposite of what we’re thinking: that the pain becomes a limiting factor in our lives. In my particular story, this idea of wounding actually happened even before I recognized it. In kindergarten, there was just something about me that my kindergarten teacher didn’t like. I came to find out later on that it was because of my skin color. When I was five years old, I received a very strong, palpable message: before that it was my parents and family and I was surrounded by love, belonging, and acceptance, but when I went out into the world, my kindergarten teacher sent me the message that I was not enough; there was something intrinsically wrong with me. When I was in high school, I found my kindergarten report card and my teacher had written that “Barbara will struggle in life and won’t amount to much.” At an early age, even before I knew that there was a wound, something opened up inside of me and I spent a lot of my spiritual journey working to out-perform my race. As life would go on, I lived in a community that was more than 99% Caucasian, which was not me, so there were many points when that wound would reopen. I recognized the blessing that God gave me parents and family who would show me unconditional love and I recognize that not everyone gets that. But in my case, that helped the wound not grow exponentially. I’ve seen many people from diverse communities where that wound keeps opening and deepening. Throughout my entire life I tried to heal that wound with performance. Couple that with a faith-based community that was a little more legalistic and add that to competition in a very competitive school environment and that set me up later in life to have other family difficulties like addiction issues and my divorce, where some of the themes of my past wounds would be repeated and meant that God needed to do a lot of healing. Often, some of the wounds that are the most painful start in childhood before we know who we are in Christ, before we can recognize that there is another voice that whispers to us. Because it happens when we are so young, it becomes entrenched, and we continue to carry those lies into other situations. That’s the enemy’s M.O. in that he will always go back to where he was effective in our lives before. Fast-forward 40 years later from that 5-year-old girl to 45-year-old me when I was in the midst of a divorce after 26 years of marriage. This was not a place I ever thought I would be. I had been on staff at a church for many years, was an author and a speaker for many years, and I loved Jesus when a significant portion of my life was ending. I went 8 years trying to hold on to a marriage where addiction was running rampant in a spouse who was struggling and who eventually left. All of those performance issues and trying to do the very best that I could in my capacity, on March 11, 2019, I literally crawled up the steps to my third floor apartment after my divorce hearing, and I laid in bed for 3 days. I was so overwhelmed with the trauma of it all that I lost the ability to speak. I could text but not speak. Just because we love Jesus and are walking with Jesus does not mean that life does not get overwhelming. In that season of life, I had to reform a part of my identity in Christ. I knew that I was deeply loved by God. I knew that he was with me and for me. But I had lost a significant part of myself in the brokenness of my family and who I thought I was and who I would be from that moment on. A friend encouraged me to pray and ask God for a new name. I had been Mrs. Roose for 26 years. As I prayed over the next month, God gave me a phrase that constituted my new name: “You are God’s beautiful, loveable, capable daughter. You are confident in Christ, and you are worthy of God’s best.” If you follow after Christ, you are going to participate in suffering. You are going to go through stuff, but God can and will redeem it. Healing began years before in a healing journey. The evidence of healing took a while, but I had the opportunity to work with great Christian counselors on things in me that I knew weren’t where God wanted me to be. So that healing journey began about 7-8 years before the divorce. During the pandemic, I was divorced and an empty nester all within six months. I had lost my father, my father-in-law and my husband all within one year. But one spring day, I sensed God whisper “I have restore

Episode Summary:  Many of us unknowingly invest our time and energy seeking validation and acceptance from others, often at the cost of our own well-being. On this episode, I sat down with Aliene Thompson, founder of Treasured Ministries International, to discuss her journey through painful emotional wounds that led to co-dependency. She shares how God revealed these patterns to her and brought healing, turning her pain into sacred scars. Aliene shares how this transformation allows her to help others find freedom and healing in God’s love. Quotables from the episode: We will all go through painful experiences, but when we will give those painful wounds to our heavenly father, he will redeem and restore what was lost and bring beautiful sacred scars for them. I learned at an early age to perform to be perfect in order to receive love. Emotional wounds exist but are harder to see than physical wounds. Ugly words are equated with murder in Scripture, so Jesus validates emotional wounds from the words of others. When I came to the Lord, I learned I don’t have to perform in order to receive His love. I consistently found myself in a place of overwhelm, trying to please others. I used to be ashamed to share my weaknesses with others, but I learned it actually helped others. All of my works came tumbling down, and I struggled to understand how these works could be wrong. Codependency is really idolatry of man. Any time we have a lack of God dependency in our lives, God will not allow the idol to succeed. The enemy convinced me to soothe my emotional wounds through performance, people pleasing, and perfectionism, which is me looking to people to gain my worth and value, which led to a co-dependency crash. The enemy is not very creative. He always goes back to where he was successful before. So, if you have struggled with people pleasing, he will try to get you to please more people. An idol is putting something or someone ahead of God, but those idols will never satisfy. God fought for my heart. In his love for me, he would not let my idols win. I felt like I was being punished by God, but now I know it was Him fighting for my heart. He was freeing me. It was a pruning season out of love. What you bow down to, you will be bound to! God ushered me into my wilderness season. In the wilderness is where I learned God-dependency. That is where the healing came, and I learned to put God first. He is now all the validation I need. God was teaching the Israelites God-dependency before entering the Promised Land so that they would always remain dependent on Him. My promised land season was when called me back into ministry and had me teach more and brought healthy great friendships and relationships. I never want to spend one more day without God-dependency. Before Moses died, he looked into the Promised Land. God didn’t take him into the Promised Land, but Psalm 90 tells us that God was his home. Home with intimacy with God brought great healing. The deeper we go in our healing, the more quickly we recognize the efforts of the enemy and the more quickly we can run back to God and use the tools He has taught us. The wilderness season gave me the opportunity to return to my family as my top priority ministry. That was a beautiful piece of redemption. Our family is our greatest ministry. God also gave me the opportunity to see my pain wasn’t in vain. God gave me lessons that I could then share with other women, so I could comfort them. The enemy will use a half-truth and mix it with lies to us. But God gives us complete truth. God always has a greater plan, that we are often not even aware of. But if you will trust God, he can turn your situation all around and use it for good, as a beautiful sacred scar. Loss is not the end of your story. For every child of God, endings are beginnings. Loss is often the beginning of life.   Recommended Resources:  Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson  The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out to God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms   Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals <a href="https://www.bible.com

Episode Summary:  As a parent, we try to do the best job we can raising our children. While children don’t come with a “how-to” manual, God gives us wisdom in His word. Proverbs 22:6 tells us “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” So, what do we do, when our children choose their own path? On this episode, I chatted with Laine Lawson Craft and we discussed her story, her pain, her wounds, and now her sacred scars that came after walking a long journey with three prodigal children. Quotables from the episode: In simple terms, a prodigal child is challenged and gets off track despite being raised under the wisdom of God. I thought I was doing everything God destined me to do. Yet all three of my children succumbed to the enemy and encountered battles with depression, drugs, alcohol, and pornography, and I didn’t even know how big the battle was. As a mother who tried to raise my children in the Lord, when they turned from Him, I experienced shame, guilt, and fear. We have a very dark world we’re raising our kids in. The phone is the #1 tool our enemy uses against our kids. When we step out for the kingdom of God, we become a target for our children. Our son was high and drunk and in an Uber car when he encountered Jesus. He didn’t have to clean up before God began working in his life. Every prayer we pray is captured in heaven. Prayer is your most powerful, essential weapon. God is creating a story that brings Him glory. The only way we have a story is with a Savior who redeems us. God redeems me every day. I know without a doubt it was the Lord who came in, rescued my children, and set them free. God underscored the message of hope that at no-one is too far gone, too messed up, for the hand of God to touch their heart and change their life. And that forever changed me. God loves you right where you are. God loves you and your prodigal. You don’t have to clean up for God to come in, and rescue and deliver you. Don’t give up “in the meantime” when your prodigal child may be mean while you are waiting for God to change their heart and their ways. You may be disappointed, discouraged, and at times hopeless, but don’t give up. God has a great plan for your child, and He is the true parent of your child. He formed them into your womb and has plans for them and we can partner with God and trust Him that He will bring them home! Realize today that you are NOT in war with your defiant child you are in war with the darkness and evil of the world!  Scripture References: Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” 2 chronicles 20:15 ESV ‘Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed at this great horde, for the battle is not yours but God's. Isaiah 62   Recommended Resources:  The Parent’s Battle Plan: Warfare Strategies to Win Back Your Prodigal by Laine Lawson Craft 5 Warfare Prayers for Prodigal Children How to Win Back a Prodigal Child, Teen, or Young Adult—Your Hope Filled Perspective Episode 205  Hope for Parents of Prodigal Children –Your Hope Filled Perspective Episode 126 10 Hope Filled Responses When You Love a Prodigal  4 Ways to Pray for Our Prodigal Children How to Treat a Prodigal Child: Rediscover the Jewel Prodigal Child: Hope and Healing When Your Loved One Has Gone Astray Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson  The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out to God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms   Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four